i hate this fish

i never thought i would say that.

that i hate a fish.

about any fish.

about any horribly elusive (not even counting the fish that i haven't even seen yet) fish from the Gulf of California.

about any fish in the world.

i love fish more than little girls love unicorns and dolphins.

but this fish confounds me and hence the hate.

for seven years i have been learning underwater photography whilst getting my degree and trying to finish this damn book of mine (not to mention, on a BUDGET!). the learning curve for all of it has been steep and i have resigned myself to the fact that i'm never going to get a good picture of some species alive and in their environment. totaoba. marlin. sailfish. just about ANY shark.

but other reef fish just make me nuts. like the bumphead damselfish and most parrotfish. these are different because although rare compared to other species, i do come across them. and they are most definitely on my to-photograph list. which is completely different from my list of fish i already have a picture of but most definitely take pictures of whenever i come across them because (1) they're either really common and bright and easy to photograph and make a great picture OR (2) they are cryptic and amazing and sometime easy to photograph and make a great picture AND i have TONS of pictures of them.(Chromis limbaughi and Scorpaena mystes, respectively).

don't need anymore.

but my to-photograph list bumphead damselfish and most parrotfish are really really hard to shoot. well, at least for me. especially since i'm also supposed to be conducting research and collecting data. i mean a dive can only be so long. i can't tell you the numerous times i've come across a shot and HAD TO keep moving in order to finish a transect. it makes me crazy. parrotfish in general are in mixed species groups and are usually just outside the good picture visibility radius. they swim by at a minimum of 1 meter, if not farther, and quite rapidly. so my issue with them is that the distance coupled with the normally bad visibility doesn't allow me to get a publishable photo. oh i have photos. don't get me wrong. but they're as useful as cameraphone pictures at a concert for identifying species.

then there are the damselfish. they are pretty stationary compared to parrotfish. they maintain a territory, they don't go racing by at a distance every 30 seconds. they stubbornly man their little nests. but, BUT! they are flitty and fast and dash in and out of rocks and i can't tell you how many pictures i have of blurry damselfish backsides diving into crevices. i've managed to get good pictures of some species because their more common and the ratio of good photo to blurry backside is 1 to 1000 but the bumphead damsel and the beabrummel are different creatures all together.

as a general rule you know damsel behavior is to posture then to scurry into the rocks. but then they can't stand it so they come right back. not the bumphead damsel nor the beaubrummel. they skitter and flit in front of you and then they dash, and then they stay gone. the whole time you're holding your breath and sitting still in order to not have your bubbles make that loud gushing scary noise that causes every fish in the area to dash for the rocks. and the second, the VERY SECOND you can't hold it any longer, they creep out. and you snap a picture of their snout as you exhale and they skitter back into the rocks again. so you wait. off to the side...

waiting....
waiting....

and then you think it's calmed down enough that you can slowly approach and hunker down and hold your breath again.

and the cycle repeats itself.

then there is the loosetooth parrotfish. sometimes this guy runs with the other parrotfish and sometimes it's out there solo. and when it's solo it's very slick and cryptic. and you try to take advantage of the times it's trying to be cryptic and it's hunkered down pretending you don't see it and you start snapping some shots thinking this thing is going to take off any minute so i really don't have the time to compose the shot just SHOOT IT!! and then at that very second it moves. it dashes off a few feet and does the same thing again.

and sometimes i stick my camera in crevices just to see if they will come out.




they don't. and don't be fooled by this small photos here. the large hi-res photos on my computer are NOT in focus or not well it enough to use.




so now. i'm over it. i'm TIRED of being taunted by it's rare appearances and even more difficult to photograph behavior. after seven, SEVEN years of trying to get a good photo of this fish, i'm done.

DONE.

do you HEAR ME FISH??